Beautiful Girl
by SmallTownGirl7
Summary: He is her story, but is she his? What happens to Sam and Andy's relationship once he recovers from being shot? This is my take on what happens in season 5 before it actually airs. This story is rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Rookie Blue or anything that has to do with it aside from my personal DVDs. I do however happen to have over 50 pairs of shoes.

Chapter One

Andy stood there staring at Sam's nearly lifeless body. It was like she wasn't there, like this entire moment wasn't real. She could see the doctors hovering over Sam and could hear their voices but they sounded so far off and distant. The machines were beeping and she swore she heard someone say "crash cart" but she just kept on staring until one of the nurses began to lead her out of the room.

Without even knowing, it she began to scream. "NO! SAM! SAM! NO!" she screamed so loud her voice was hoarse. The nurse led her towards the waiting area where the rest of 15 Division was anxiously waiting.

"No, I can't be out there with them. Not right now" she whispered to the nurse. The nurse turned and gave her a sad smile and led her to an empty exam room. She came back a few moments later with tissues and a cup of water. Traci followed her in and sat down beside Andy, putting her arm around her shoulders. Neither said anything to one another and they both cried. Andy cried for Sam, the love of her life that she technically didn't even have back, and may never get to. Traci cried not only for Andy and Sam, but for Jerry. She knew what Andy was going through and she knew what would happen if Sam was out of miracles; how that would make Andy feel. Thinking back on her own pain, she wouldn't wish anyone to feel the way she felt when Jerry was murdered. Now she was reliving it with Andy. While Traci had begun dating Steve Peck, she would still give just about anything to have Jerry in her arms again.

"Nick" Andy whispered.

"What? Andy what are you talking about?" replied Traci.

"Nick. It was good, we were happy. Then Sam told me that all he wanted was for me to be happy. He couldn't stay there with me and him. He screwed it up and I moved on. Traci, if I hadn't of been with Nick, Sam wouldn't have been shot. Now he may die and I've hurt everyone and it's all my fault. What if he dies Trace?" Andy said as tears ran down her face.

Cupping Andy's hands in hers, Traci looked her in the eyes and said, "Andy, none of this is your fault. No matter what happens, it is not your fault. You and Sam were both seeing other people. That didn't get him shot. I can't tell you he is going to be alright, not after Jerry. We both know this could go either way, but we have to have faith that he will be okay. He's Sam Swarek, he doesn't play by anyone's rules and I believe in my heart that he will do everything he possibly can to come back to you, Andy. He loves you and has always loved you and you know this and he knows that you love him too. We have to be strong for him."

"I can't be strong right now Trace."

"I know, but you were there for me and I am here for you, no matter what."

They continued to sit in silence in the exam room, with its glowing fluorescent lights and un-pulled curtains tucked beside each bed. The only sound in the room was the second hand ticking away on the clock, like a sinister countdown to finding out the unknown when you're not sure you want the answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Without knowing how much time had actually passed since she was pulled from Sam's bedside, Andy started to become more coherent and could actually see more than the outlines of the other beds in the room. Her heart ached, she was puffy and headachy from crying, and she was terrified.

"No news is good news, right?" she said to Traci.

"Mhmm" Traci replied. "Do you know if Frank called Sam's family?"

"Oh god" Andy whispered. "He has a sister, Sarah. What if she doesn't know? What if she doesn't get to see him? Can you go and check? If no one has called her, can you ask Frank to let me do it?"

"Sure, I'll be right back. I'll see if I can get an update as well. Why don't you lie down?"

With that, Traci got up and went back to the waiting room. When she got there, she saw a sea of uniformed police from 15 Division. They all looked up at her in anticipation, like she had news.

"Do you have an update on Sam yet?" She asked?

"No, only that he has been taken into surgery" said Frank. "How's McNally?" At this, Nick looked up and it was obvious he had shed some tears himself.

"Not good. She asked if anyone has called Swarek's sister, Sarah yet."

"I'm just waiting on a number for her from the station. Does McNally have it?" He asked.

"I think so. She said if you haven't notified her, that she wanted to be the one to do it."

"Do you think that's a wise choice?"

"I think it might help her for a few minutes, to focus her energy on someone else. "

"Okay then. We'll let you know if we get an update."

"Thanks Frank." Traci said as she began heading back to Andy, not before giving an empathetic glance at Nick. Traci followed the glowing fluorescent lights and linoleum until she reached the room Andy was waiting in. As she opened the door, she saw Andy turn around and immediately ask for an update.

"All I know is that he is in surgery. Frank said he was waiting on a number to call Sarah, but if you have it you can call, if you are sure you're up to it" Traci told her as she grasped her hand. "I didn't realize you knew her."

"I don't. I've never even spoken to her. I just feel like it should be me making the call. I can't explain why. "

"I understand, though it's probably the worst first impression."

"Yeah you're right" Andy said as she pulled out her phone. "I can do this" she whispered, gaining courage to hit the send button. After three rings, a soft voice picked up. "Hi, is this Sarah Swarek, Sam's sister?"

"Yes… who is this?"

"Sarah, my name is Andy, Officer Andy McNally. I'm calling to talk to you about Sam."

"The Andy? What about Sam? Is everything okay?"

Ignoring the "the Andy" comment, she paused. She could tell her voice was about to crack and her eyes were welling up with tears. Traci sat by her, ready to take the phone if she couldn't finish the conversation. In a teary voice, she told her "Sarah, Sam has been shot. It's bad. He's been taken into surgery. I don't have any more details right now. The doctors are doing everything they can for him."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing, nor have anything to do with Rookie Blue aside from some DVDs

Wow! Thank you to everyone who followed, favourited, and reviewed this story! Now there's pressure haha! For real though, I was not expecting any of it after only two chapters. I hope you all like the following chapters!

After hanging up with Sarah, Andy had Traci go and update Frank on the notification. While Traci was gone, Andy's mind played a slideshow of all her favourite moments she had spent with Sam. There was the night of the Alpine Inn, and its subsequent sequels. There was the day she was holding the bomb and he told her he loved her. There were small moments too, not only the story she told him in the ambulance, but every day things. One morning she had been at his place, sitting at the island in the kitchen, watching him cook breakfast in only a pair of plaid pyjama pants. He was relaxed and having a good time when all of a sudden bacon grease popped and burnt his chest. It had been somewhat painful but she was nearly on the floor laughing. "_Everyone knows you never cook bacon naked or well half-naked"_. He told her because she had laughed; she wasn't allowed to have any bacon. He let her steal it off his plate anyway.

There were other things too… just things he did that she hadn't realized how much she missed. She missed him coming up behind her and gently wrapping his hand around the back of her neck and giving her a little massage. It had been so second nature to him that she wondered if he even knew he did it. When they weren't at work or with people from work, when it was just them, he was always touching her; rubbing her neck, holding her hand, his arm wrapped around her shoulders, guiding her with his hand on the small of her back…he may not have told her he loved her, but he had shown it.

How had she forgotten these things? He had been standing right in front of her telling her how he would take out her garbage and walk her non-existent dog. She had been so unbelievably hurt when he broke up with her that to move on, she had to block out nearly every good memory. What if they turned out to be all she had left?

Had she shown Sam that she loved him? What if he died thinking she didn't really? What if he thought she was just telling him things in the ambulance because he may die? Now she knew how he felt when she was holding the bomb. He had meant every single word he said to her. The fear of knowing you may lose someone forever makes you open up and tell them the truth about your feelings towards them. Sam had been terrified he was going to lose her forever and so he told her he had loved her, bomb in hand. Now, the tables had turned and she was the one pouring her heart out in an ambulance.

She had wasted so much time. They had wasted so much time. They could have been together since the night he tried to get her back. Was the undercover operation really worth losing all that time with Sam? They had both moved on, her to Nick and he to Marlo.

Marlo. Sam's girlfriend. Sam's bipolar, in huge trouble, girlfriend. Where was she? Was she here? She was probably a wreck too. Not only were the police tearing her life apart, she loved Sam too. It was her fault he got shot in the first place. Her fault Chloe was clinging for her life in another room in the building, her fault for Kevin Ford's psychotic break. But it wasn't her fault. She couldn't help being bipolar. She couldn't help that she was so in love she just wanted to feel it. She also did solve the case of the missing boy. Andy wondered if anyone had called her. She'd ask Traci when she got back. Was she thinking really fast or had Traci been gone for a while? Glancing at the ticking clock on the wall, Andy realized she had no idea what time it had been when Traci left, so she had no way of determining how long she had been gone. She realized she was starting to get cold and began looking for a blanket when the door opened.

"No updates on Sam yet. Marlo called Frank for an update. He offered to send a squad car to get her but she said she was going to stay at home" Traci said as she came in, conveniently carrying some blankets. "I was getting cold and thought we could use some blankets."

"I was just looking for a blanket. Thanks Trace."

There was another knock on the door and Andy jumped. She stared at it in trepidation, not knowing if she wanted to know what would happen next.

Celery walked in with a tray of teas. "Oliver is asleep and I have some time before I have to wake him again so I thought I'd come bring these to you", she said kind of nervously. She wasn't really sure how to act around these women. Her love was safe in a bed upstairs. He had a concussion, but that was nothing compared to being shot and in surgery. "Any news on Sam?"

"Not yet. He's still in surgery. Thanks for the tea," Andy said to her, graciously accepting the warm cup and wrapping her hands around it.

"I didn't tell Oliver about the shooting. He's been through a lot today and needed to rest."

"That was a good call" Traci said, sipping her hot tea.

"I'm going to go update Frank on Oliver. Call me if you need anything, I'll just be upstairs," Celery said before walking out of the room.

"You know," said Andy, "her name is weird and she's a witch, so that's a bit weird, but I really like her. I think her and Oliver will be, are, great together" Andy said to Traci. "I feel like I should go and see how Oliver is doing, but he'd know. He'd take one look at me and know something happened to Sam."

"You're right, he would know, and that's not good for him right now. I also agree that he and Celery are great together, just like you and Swarek, so he is going to make it."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I still do not own Rookie Blue, and I probably never will. I will soon own a super cute anchor scarf when it arrives in the mail though!

A/N: Wow! Thank you again for all the reviews! I think I'm addicted to them! I will try to update as often as possible. Between grad school, an internship, and a part time job I do not have a lot of free time so if I do not personally write back to your reviews, don't think I don't care because I do! I will find the time to write back to any questions you ask though.

An hour passed by before the door opened again. This time a nurse in 101 Dalmatians scrubs came in the room.

"Andy McNally?" she asked?

Andy shot up and stared at the nurse, unable to let words escape her lips, not that they'd be in any form of a sentence since her words were just flying around in her brain.

"Mr. Swarek is out of surgery and has been moved to recovery. He was just waking up when I left."

Both Andy and Traci let out breaths they didn't realize they had been holding.

"Can I go see him?" Andy asked, tears filling her eyes once again.

"Of course, if you'll come with me I'll take you to the recovery area."

Andy gave Traci a tight hug and told her to go update the rest of 15 Division that was waiting in the waiting area. She also asked her to call Sarah who was on her way, giving her the number.

Andy left the room with the nurse, annoyed they weren't running to the room. She subconsciously thought that she hadn't seen the movie 101 Dalmatians in well over a decade and tried to remember the name of her favourite one. Not that it mattered at all.

The nurse stopped outside of room 4021, turned to Andy and said, "He is going to be very groggy from the anesthesia and the pain medication. He lost a lot of blood and needs to rest so we can't have a parade of police officers in and out."

Andy just nodded her head while biting her nails. Sam's going to look awful. What if he forgets what happened in the ambulance? What if he wants Marlo here instead of her?

"Are you going in?" the nurse asked.

"Mmhmm… yep… going in" she replied and forced herself to step through the doors. They had Sam in a private room. His bed was against the left wall. The room had windows along the long side and a bathroom to the right.

He looked so small laying there in the bed, wrapped up in white blankets. He still had oxygen hooked in his nose and his eyes were closed. Andy watched as his chest rose and fell in slow, even breaths. He was asleep. She pulled up the chair beside the bed as quietly as she could, she didn't want to disturb him. Tears silently fell from her eyes as she gazed at his very white face. He was alive. He was there, in that bed, alive. They had a chance.

His arm with the IV in it was out from under the blankets. She glanced down, her eyes following his arm from the IV at his elbow down to his wrists. Her glance moved to his hands. Andy could feel how his hands felt on her body; warm, slightly calloused, usually gentle unless they were forgoing gentle for passion. She gently lifted his hand and cupped both of hers around it, bring it to meet her lips, she placed a long, soft kiss to the top of his hand and let out the breath she was holding. She seemed to be forgetting to exhale quite a bit today. "

Mm" she heard and glanced up to Sam's face, not letting go of his hand. His eyes were still closed but a faint smile was spread across his lips. Andy watched as he opened his eyes slowly, blinking to adjust to the light and taking in his surroundings before his eyes focused directly on her.

"McNally" he said in a hoarse voice, the smile on his face growing.

Andy couldn't help herself. She couldn't stop the tears from falling and began to cry. "I'm here. You're here. You're going to be okay" she said, taking one hand away from his to get some tissues. "Do you want some water?" she asked him, not waiting for a response as she poured a cup and opened a straw from its wrapper. Sam nodded and she got up and held the cup for him. Once his throat was moist, it was easier to talk. Intubation tubes were not comfortable; thankfully they had taken his out before he woke up.

"Oliver, is Oliver okay?" Sam asked, a terrified look on his face.

"Relax, don't move too much or you'll hurt yourself." She said. "Oliver is fine. He's upstairs in a room with Celery. He's a bit banged up and bruised with a concussion, but he will be perfectly fine." Sam visibly relaxed and sank down into his pillow, letting out a breath he had held. Apparently all of 15 forgets to breathe.

"Stop crying McNally. I'm not dead." Sam half joked to her. He hated it when she cried. It broke his heart every time she was in any pain.

"I can't. I was so scared, Sam. Now I'm so relieved that you are here."

He grabbed her hand that was resting on the edge of the bed and squeezed it tightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Andy."

Wiping her tears with her free hand, she smiled. Not trying to think too much into what he just said, she squeezed his hand back.

"So you and Collins" Sam spoke, without letting go of her hand.

"You really want to talk about him, right now?" Andy asked, taken aback.

"No, not really. Tell me another story, McNally. Like the one in the ambulance." Caught off guard, she paused. She then began to tell him the story of the last time he'll ever cook bacon topless. He listened, his eyes slightly closing and a goofy smile on his face. He liked hearing stories from her. Even though he lived the exact same moment she was describing, she told it differently. She outlined the details of his plaid pyjama pants, the sound of his bare feet on the kitchen floor. She knew him. She knew him better than anyone… yet she had said sometimes she didn't know him at all.

The doctor came in the room to check on Sam now that he was awake.

"I'll go and let everyone know how you're doing" she said. "Do you want me to come back afterwards?" she asked, timidly, afraid he would say no.

The doctor interjected by stating that visiting hours were over and he could only allow an immediate family member to stay, but Sam interrupted him. "Yes, come back. Doc, she's McNally. She stays." Andy smiled at the confused look on the doctor's face. "You have to listen to me Doc. I'm a detective. I AM the police." Sam joked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Once again, thank you to all of the lovely reviewers! I hope you all had a great Easter weekend! I know mine was crazy busy.**

**Disclaimer: Once again, Rookie Blue sadly does not belong to me.**

**I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to review!**

Andy made her way to the sea of police that were waiting, avoiding eye contact with Nick. Traci gave her a hug and waited for her to speak.

"Sam's awake. He lost a lot of blood and will be in a lot of pain once the meds ware off. He says he's not going anywhere so we should all stop worrying."

Everyone from the division was relieved. Once they'd gotten the news, they started filing out to go back to the station or home. Nick waited until it was just he and Andy in the room.

"Nick…" she began.

"Andy, you don't have to say it," he replied.

"I do. Nick I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I really like you. You're amazing. You're perfect. I am really confused at the moment and I'm sorry, but…"

"I know Andy. It's okay." With that, he hugged her, pressed his soft lips to her forehead and gave her a lingering kiss before walking out of the hospital.

Sighing, Andy went back into Sam's room.

"Are they gone?" he asked.

"Yep. They all wish you the best, a speedy recovery, and all that."

He could tell something was off since she had left. "You talked to Collins, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"How'd that go?"

"Rough."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now. What about Marlo?" This was the burning question on Andy's mind all night.

Sam sighed. Everything was coming back to him in a blurred rush.

"Do you want to call her and let her know you're okay?" Andy asked. Handing him her phone, Andy decided it was a good time to go see Oliver and Celery. Oliver didn't know anything about the shooting, but she figured Celery would like some peace of mind. Andy was torn as to whether or not she wanted to hear the conversation between Sam and Marlo, but figured it would be better to give him privacy.

Not sure how long she should be gone for, Andy popped in to see Oliver and Celery. Oliver was asleep and Celery looked exhausted. She had been the one waking him up every hour. She was relieved to know Sam was alright and hugged Andy.

"Oliver's going to be so happy the two of you are back together when he wakes up!" she said.

Andy froze. "Um Celery, we aren't back together."

"But you will be." She said with a smile.

Andy left and took a walk around the floor before going back in to see Sam. She had made sure that Sam called Sarah and let her know how he was doing. Sarah decided to just stay at a hotel for the night and see Sam in the morning since Andy was spending the night at the hospital. When she got back to the room, her phone was on the table beside the bed. Sam was lying with his eyes closed, but she could tell from his breathing that he wasn't asleep yet.

"Hey you," she said.

"Hey. You were gone a long time."

"I just wanted to give you and Marlo privacy. Is she on her way to come and see you?" she asked, very uncertain of what the answer would be, but hoping it was negative.

"No. She won't be coming to see me. We're finished. Everything has been too much for her and she feels like it is all her fault I nearly died, so she is not coming."

Not being able to quell the butterflies in her stomach, she tried to be very sincere, "I'm so sorry Sam."

"I'm not. You must be exhausted. It's been a really long day."

"Yeah I am and yes it has." Sam slid himself over to one side of the bed, creating a small space and motioned for her to join him.

"It's okay. I'll just sleep in the chair." She said. She was freaking out a bit inside. Yes, she wanted Sam and no time like the present to start up again after nearly losing him, but this was happening too fast! "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. Andy…I nearly died today." How could she say no to that? She took off her shoes and her uniform top. She had sent her belt back to the station with Traci, and was about to climb into the bed when Sam pointed to the bathroom.

"I had the nurse find you a pair of scrubs for the night. Sleeping in those pants would be a nightmare."

She smiled, went to the washroom and finished changing. Throwing an extra blanket on the bed, she then crawled into the tiny space beside Sam. "Better?" she asked him?

"Yes. I nearly died today and it was terrifying. I need you, Andy. You. All I could think about was if I die, who would take care of you?"

"I love you, Sam." "I love you too, Andy." With that, they drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Surprise Lovelies! My Easter gift to you! Two chapters uploaded in one day! Enjoy and review please! **

**Disclaimer: Rookie Blue belongs to someone else...but if they wanted to share, I'd be willing.**

Andy awoke to someone gently shaking her shoulder. Squinting her eyes from the bright fluorescent light, she opened them and looked around. She was lying in a hospital bed and Traci was the one waking her up. This made no sense, where was Sam? Hadn't she gone to see him? He and Marlo were finished? What was going on?

"Hey sweetie, you fell asleep. You've been sleeping for more than an hour now. Sam's sister is here. She wants to meet you" Traci said to her softly.

Andy swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. Rubbing her eyes, she realized she had just dreamt that Sam was okay. "Sam, has there been any news?" she asked with a slight panic in her voice.

"No, not yet, he is still in surgery. But no news is good news, so let's think of it that way. Are you ready to meet Sarah?"

Andy just nodded and Traci went over to the door, ushering Sarah into the room.

Sarah Swarek looked a lot like her brother only shorter. Much shorter, she probably wasn't even 5'5". She was petite and she had the same olive skin tone and the same dark hair as Sam, but hers was long, with loose curls. She had dark brown eyes, which were red and puffy from crying and her mascara had run.

Andy stood up to meet her. "Hi" was all she got out before Sarah wrapped her into a huge hug and started to cry all over again. Shooting Traci a look that said _what do I do?_ she hugged Sarah back in a comforting fashion and rubbed her back.

Breaking the hug long after they passed the awkward hug length of time, Sarah wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Hi, I'm Sarah. Sorry about that."

"It's really okay." Andy said back. This was weird. She was meeting her ex-boyfriend's sister for the first time, nearly a year after they had broken up, and while he was clinging to his life in the OR from gunshot wounds while his current girlfriend was no place to be found. Yeah this was totally normal… not.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" Sarah exclaimed, "Well the circumstances suck but I suppose this is the silver lining."

"Yeah… it's really nice to meet you too. " Andy replied, very confused as to how much this woman actually knew about her.

"I'm sorry, it's just that Sam has told me so much about you over the years so I kind of already feel like I know you. You probably think I am really strange now… I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," And said. "I just wasn't sure how much Sam told you about me, but apparently quite a bit."

Smiling a sad smile, Sarah told her, "He talks about you so much that every time I talk to him I just ask how you are too. I really had thought I would meet you long before now."

"Well, you know Sam. He keeps his family very private."

"I actually didn't know that. I've invited you and Sam to come to St. Catharines plenty of times but he always said you were both working."

An awkward silence came over the two women. Where had Traci gone?

"Umm Sarah, you know Sam and I broke up nearly a year ago, right?"

"Oh, wow… well I knew something was wrong, but I didn't realize it had been that long. I am so sorry. Every word out of my mouth has made this situation more awkward."

"It's really not that bad."

"So is Sam seeing anyone right now? Is there anyone serious?" Sarah asked.

Andy was wondering if this day could get any worse, but didn't want to tempt fate, "He has a girlfriend. He's been seeing her for more than six months now, her name is Marlo. Hasn't he mentioned her?" Andy asked. This was incredibly weird. Sam's sister felt like she knew her, yet she had no idea about Marlo? What was Sam thinking?

"I think he mentioned a date with someone named Marlo, but he hasn't mentioned her again… " Sarah replied, indicating that she felt just as awkward as Andy. "If Marlo is his girlfriend, then where is she and why were you the one who called me?"

"Marlo is back at the station dealing with the case and the man who shot Sam." Andy replied, not wanting to get into any more details. Sam clearly needed to update his sister on his life when he woke up. If he wakes up. Why hadn't there been any news?

Sensing that Andy did not want to talk anymore about Marlo, she changed the subject to why Andy became a police officer. Not long after, a nurse in 101 Dalmatian scrubs came in the room saying that Sam should be awake any moment and if they would like to go with her to see him, they could. The nurse with the scrubs freaked Andy out. Did she have a premonition in her dream? She must have just seen that nurse at some point and dreamt about her. Regardless, it was just down right freaky. Where on earth was Traci? She had to remember to tell her about the 101 Dalmatian nurse.

The nurse led them to a private room. From outside the door, Andy could hear the steady hum of machines and the occasional beep. Her feet seemed to freeze in place as she attempted to get closer to the door.

"Only one at a time, please" the nurse said.

"You go ahead, you're his sister. I'll just wait out here" Andy said.

Clasping Andy's hand in hers and giving it a squeeze, Sarah told her, "He will want to see you first. I know it." Letting out a deep breath, she continued, "he is alive and he is going to be just fine so I can relax for a few minutes and make some phone calls. You go in."

"Um… if you're sure?" Andy stuttered.

"I am, now go."

"Okay… I'm going… yep… going in the room…right now," Andy tried to convince her feet to move past the doorway threshold and into the room.

Stepping into the room, she saw that it was indeed a private room, however the bed was on the right side of the room, but the windows were in the same place. The curtain around Sam's bed was partially drawn but she could see there was a chair beside it. Sam's chest rose up and down with deep, slow breaths and the oxygen tube was still on. She had always viewed Sam as the big strong man he was, but lying there in the hospital bed, wearing the blue printed gown, he looked so small and fragile. Andy started to cry silent tears as she moved closer to the bed, finally taking a seat. She held his left hand and was careful not to jostle the IV and just sat there, waiting for him to wake up.

Sam opened his eyes slowly. In a split second, there was a blinding light and his head was fuzzy. What the hell had happened? Why did his throat hurt? Why did his entire body hurt? Fully opening his eyes, he saw the fluorescent track lighting on the ceiling and figured from the ugly room that he was in a hospital. Suddenly the day's events came flooding back, replying before his eyes. The shootings, Andy kissing Collins, Marlo and her Kevin ford board in her basement, Price being shot, Oliver being missing, him telling Andy he had to leave, him being shot, him bleeding and looking into Andy's eyes, grasping at her vest, the ambulance ride… she loved him. He was her story. How did this all happen in one day? Was anyone else hurt at the station?

He felt her hand on his and he knew who it was without even turning his head. He could sense when she was around and he knew her familiar touch. Turning to look at her, he saw her head bent towards her lap and tears falling. Squeezing her hand, she looked up.

"Hey" he said hoarsely, with a slight smile on his face.

"Hey" she said with a sad smile. She wiped her tears away as she said "you're here".

"I'm here."

"You're going to be okay."

"I know" he said, thinking in his mind that her being here beside him when he woke was the only sign he needed.

"You should have some water" Andy sniffled, pouring some into a cup, opening a straw, and bringing it over to him. "They had to intubate you in the ambulance because you stopped breathing" she spoke, as tears began to fall again.

"What can I say McNally? You take my breath away."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi lovelies! Here's a mid-week treat for you! I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue...but I'd have a lot more money if I did.**

Sarah had been at the door, not eavesdropping, but seeing if it was a good time for her to come in. Hearing her brother say that to Andy, she realized they definitely needed more time. While she desperately wanted to hear what was going to be said next, she decided to not spy on them and went to make a few more phone calls.

_"What can I say McNally? You take my breath away."_

Andy was overcome with emotion. Not knowing what to say, she grasped Sam's hand and squeezed while leaning over to place a slow kiss on his forehead. With her free hand, she ran her fingers through his hair.

Sam brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on it, causing Andy to let out a sigh and leaning into him, resting her head just above his on the pillow. He moved their hands over his heart and they stayed silent, lost in their own thoughts.

She wasn't sure how Sam felt about everything, but she was emotionally raw. She was so confused. When she had woken up this morning, she was with Nick. She really liked him and he was fantastic to her. She was finally on her way to getting over Sam, or so she thought. She had also thought that Sam and Marlo were getting serious regardless of how many times Oliver had told her that she would get Sam back if she wanted him. Sam hadn't actually said the words. He had stood in the precinct telling her how he wanted her to be happy more than anything in the world, but because she was happy with Nick, he couldn't stay. When he had been shot, he kept grabbing at her vest and trying to get up, but he never said why. When they were in the ambulance and she had confessed her tiny moment to him, he had said it was a good story. She told him she loved him and he stopped breathing. _You take my breath away_. Was he inadvertently saying he loved her? Was he in love with her or just loved her as a friend? What about Marlo? He had asked her to alter Marlo's notebook so surely he cared a great deal for her.

"Tell me what you're thinking" she whispered to him, not wanting to ruin the moment but needing to know where his head was at.

Sighing, he replied, "When I woke up this morning, this was not how I expected my day to go."

Feeling incredibly disappointed with his answer, all she replied was, "no, me neither."

Sam knew what she meant when she had asked him what he was thinking. He knew her; of course he understood what she meant. He just didn't have an answer for her. He knew he never stopped loving her. His heart ached every time he thought of her while she was undercover with Collins. He had replayed the night she left over and over in his mind.

_ He had told her he loved her while she was holding the bomb. When he realized he may lose her, he was terrified and felt this overwhelming need to tell her just in case he never got another chance. He needed her in his life. When he brought it up at the station as she was getting ready to leave, he froze. She was at her locker and he knew they needed to talk about it. He just wasn't good at this part, the words part. He could show her he loved her until the end of time, but actually saying it made it real and that was scary. _

_"Andy, what I said to you…" he trailed off. _

_"It's okay. Heat of the moment, I get it." _

_"No. I meant it. It's true. There are 206 bones in the human body. I saw it on Grey's Anatomy." He choked. What a fucking idiot. Here he was, trying to tell the love of his life that he indeed did love her and wanted to be with her forever and he said that. There are 206 bones in the human body. Who the hell does that? _

_Hearing her say she didn't care if he was serious or joking because she didn't care anymore caused his heart to clench and his entire chest tighten. He hadn't expected her to react like that. He had hoped she would see through his humour and come back to him; tell him she loved him again like she had the day she hijacked his truck at the end of shift. He was too late she had said. He had seriously thought she would have come to the Penny that night. The old Andy would have. She would have shown up with her bangs in her eyes and a sad look on her face. She would have sat down beside him at the bar, ordered a bottle of Alexander Keith's and sat, slightly hunched over with her elbows on the bar countertop and both hands wrapped around the bottle. They would have just sat in silence for a few minutes and she would have said "so" and he would have said "you're here. That's a good start." _

_But she didn't come to the Penny that night. Nor was she in parade the next day, nor the day after that. He had tried calling her but there was no answer. He went to her house, there was no one home. He noticed that Collins was missing as well. _

_Walking into the D's office, he saw Traci at her desk reading a case file. "Nash! Where is McNally?" _

_"I don't know." She said without looking up from the file. _

_"Yes you do, Nash. Please, just tell me where she is" he begged. This was killing him. _

_Looking up from the file, Traci sighed. "She's gone Sam. Andy and Nick went on Callaghan's task force." _

_"WHAT?" he yelled. This could not be happening. Not only did he confess his love for Andy and she not met him, she went undercover without saying a word to him! The sinking feeling that had swept over his body was in full force. She had meant it when she said she didn't care anymore and that he was too late. _

_"She didn't tell me either, Sam. It happened two nights ago. Callaghan asked me to go but it was so short notice and for so long that I couldn't leave Leo. I guess he asked Andy next." _

_"How long Nash?" _

_Traci stayed quiet for a moment. She had no idea what had happened between Swarek and McNally but it was clear that something had and Sam was not happy about her leaving. He was pissed. _

_"**How. Long. Is. She. Gone. For. Traci?**" Sam gritted through his clenched teeth. _

_"I'm not sure, a few months at least." She replied as Sam stormed out of the room. Figuring she knew where he was headed next, she picked up the phone. _

_"Callaghan" _

_"Swarek is looking for you" she warned Luke. _

_For six months after that, Andy was gone. Gone with Collins doing who knows what. Six months under cover and living together, well that's longer than some marriages. Sam had come to terms with the fact that Andy had left him. That's how he saw it, she had left him. She hadn't chosen to go on the task force for the sake of it, no; she had gone to leave him, so he tried to move on with Marlo. The fact that she had similar features to Andy was completely irrelevant._

_Then he had found out she and Collins were missing. It had been six months, but the feeling in the pit of his stomach when he heard the news was like she had been there beside him that morning. He couldn't understand why, but he had to do everything in his power to bring her home safely. Even after all this time, she was still the Bambi-eyed rookie who he felt he needed to protect. When he got that phone call from her, the relief that washed over him was indescribable. A normal person would have just dialed 911 to get the police and have the land-line tracked, but she had called him. Then when he opened the back of the truck and saw her face, he could finally breathe. There she was, looking so relieved to see him. A smile spread across his face and it had taken every ounce of willpower to not wrap his arms around her and never let her go. He gave a side glance to Collins and then it occurred to him; they had just spent six months undercover and Collins had not contacted Peck once, so he had heard. McNally wasn't his anymore. Maybe she was with Collins, he didn't know. _

Sam just kept replaying all the moments he had had to be with her. If he had just not made the stupid bones comment, if he had just wrapped her in his arms when he lifted the door on the truck. If he had just gave in to his feelings instead of being stubborn when he had driven her to the Penny after the shoot-out. She had confessed she had felt the same way. She had loved him; he broke her heart, and she broke his own in the process. He replayed how he felt when he saw her kissing Collins on his way out for patrol. They had a complicated relationship for sure, but for some reason, he had always felt like he would get her back, that was until he saw the two of them together. If Andy had actually moved on, it was really over between them. She had said her talent was knowing when to give up. This was proof that she had done that. She gave up on getting him back and had moved on. Oliver had tried to tell him, hell even Callaghan told him to not let her go… but he had. He decided in that moment that the next undercover opportunity that came up, he was taking. He had to leave Marlo, he wasn't in love with her. He couldn't watch Andy be with someone else. Not after all they had been through.

Now, here he was. He was shot and lying in a hospital bed and she was here with him. She loved him. But what about Collins? Marlo, he was pretty sure, had known since the day Andy came back from UC that she and Sam weren't going to work out, but she had tried. Sam had tried. But like he said, McNally took his breath away. She did every time he saw her, every time she smiled and laughed. She was his world and he wanted everything he did to revolve around her. He had been slightly drunk while telling Oliver, but he confessed he missed her and how he thought about an actual future. He had never done that before, thought about who the mother of his children would be. He never even thought about having children, but babies with Andy… they would look just like her with his stubborn personality and her heart of a lion.

"McNally?"

"Mmhmm?" came a sleepy reply.

"Go home and get some rest."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"Never. You're exhausted. It's been a long day and you need some rest."

"You just don't want to share your pillow."

Now he knew she was basically asleep. "I just don't want you to drool on it."

Fully awake, she sat up and proclaimed, "I do not drool on pillows!"

Reaching up, he cupped her face in his hands. He held them there, just staring at her; taking her in. She had her overgrown bangs pinned back on her right side. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail. He studied the curves in her eyebrows and the swirls in her hazel eyes. He traced the outline of her lips and pulled her close to him. Not caring about anything else that happened today, he guided their lips to meet and they softly touched. The kiss was almost sad as it was so full of emotion but not in a frantic way. She was stiff at first but loosened into the kiss. Her lips responded to his and the kisses grew deeper until there was a knock at the door.

"Oh! Your sister! I forgot she was waiting!" Andy said as she scrambled up, blushing. "I should let you two have some time together before you fall back asleep.

Sam laughed and smiled. "Hey McNally?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll be back to drool on my pillow tomorrow, right?"

Laughing, she replied "yes".

"You can always drool on my pillows, okay?"

"Okay" she said, leaning to kiss him goodbye. "Goodnight Sam."

"Goodnight McNally."

Andy said goodbye to Sarah as she made her way to the waiting area where the rest of 15 Division was eagerly waiting for an update.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello lovelies! Sorry for the wait! I've been busy with a new job this week. I hope you enjoy and I'll try to upload another chapter soon!**

**Disclaimer: Rookie Blue isn't mine :( **

**Don't forget to review! **

Andy walked into the waiting area and gazed across the vast sea of police uniforms as she searched for Frank, also keeping an eye out for Marlo but not seeing her. Even after everything that had happened today, Marlo should have been here to see Sam; but maybe it was too much for her, Andy thought as she spotted Frank talking to Traci and went over to tell them the news.

"McNally, what's the news? How is Swarek?" Frank asked anxiously, catching everyone else's attention.

"He's awake and is doing well, all things considered. His sister is in with him now" she replied, watching the relief cross everyone's faces. "Sir, has there been an update on Chloe?"

"Not yet, her husband opted to not do the surgery so they are monitoring her in hopes that the clot will dissipate naturally" Frank grimaced. Clearly this whole "husband" thing was news to him too. Turning to the rest of 15 Division, Frank told them all to go home and be with their loved ones. Their paperwork would be waiting for them the next day.

As officers began to leave, Andy saw Nick sitting alone by the window. She went and sat down beside him, not saying anything. He held her hand and they sat there for a few moments in sweet silence, knowing that when the conversation came, it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Can I give you a ride back to the station?" he asked.

Realizing that she didn't have a lot of other options for getting back to change, she agreed. They headed to his squad car and drove back to the station in silence.

When Andy was finished changing, she found Nick waiting for her outside the women's locker room.

"I figured you could use a ride home."

"Thanks" she replied, feeling completely emotionally raw and defeated. She accepted the ride home for that reason and for the fact that their inevitable talk had to happen.

The quick drive to her apartment was silent, but Nick had held her hand the entire way. She felt horrible. Nick was an amazing man and an amazing boyfriend. Even though they hadn't been seeing each other that long, Andy really liked him. She honestly believed that if all the stuff with Sam hadn't happened today, she and Nick would have actually stood a chance. In her heart of hearts, Andy knew she loved Sam and would until the day she died, but if Sam were out of the picture, she could love Nick as well. Aside from issues with Gail, things with Nick just flowed. They were uncomplicated and she never had to guess what he was feeling because he was open with her. If she could stop herself from going back to Sam, she would, but she couldn't; she was addicted to him, he was her vice.

But what if she was jumping the gun? Sam had been on a lot of painkillers at the hospital. What if he actually wanted Marlo? What if he woke up tomorrow and realized that if he had just left her alone, he wouldn't have been shot because he would have stayed in uniform? All she did was get people shot, first Luke and now Sam, not to mention Price who she had been with when she got shot. While the rational Andy knew that none of these shootings were actually her fault, she was starting to second guess herself.

Nick pulled into her apartment's parking lot and parked in her spot. When she had bought the condo, she believed future Andy would have a car, but so far future Andy did not. Reaching into the back seat and grabbing her bag for her, Nick began to speak.

"So…"

Not knowing what came over her, she replied, "Let's not do this here in the car. Do you want to come up for a drink?"

"Sure" he replied, carrying her bag for her as they headed into the building. He didn't want to have another break-up in his car, if he did, it would be cursed.

Inside her condo, Andy opened two beers from the fridge and followed Nick to the couch. They sat and drank in silence for a few minutes before she began the speech she had been rehearsing.

"I'm sorry" she said to him.

"For what?" he asked.

_As if he doesn't know_ she thought to herself. "For loving Sam. Nick I really, _really_ like you. You are amazing and if it weren't for Sam, I honestly believe we would have been great together; we were great together. You were my break-up buddy; you know how hard I tried to get over him. I went undercover for six months. I tried to even be friends with Marlo. I gave up on getting back together with Sam a long time ago and I honestly believed I had moved on…" she trailed off.

"Then what happened, Andy? This morning we were great and then he gets shot and suddenly you realize he is the love of your life?" Nick asked, grabbing them more drinks.

"It's my fault that he nearly died today."

"How so?"

"He saw us kissing when you were heading out on patrol, after I had been shot with Price. After we were told to stay at the station, I saw him getting ready to leave and tried to stop him, that's when we found Oliver's squad in the parking lot. He was leaving because of me, Nick, because of us. He saw us together and realized that…well I don't know for sure what he realized or if he had been thinking about things for a while, but he told me that he couldn't be there with me anymore. He wants me to be happy, more than anything he wants for himself, and because we were happy together, he needed to leave. Nick I am so unbelievably sorry, but if there is a chance, even the tiniest of chances that he and I can make it work, I need to take it and see it through."

"Andy, just because he can't get over the fact he was stupid enough to let you go does not mean that it is your fault he got shot. You've been broken up for a year! An entire year! He started seeing Marlo. How many times did you tell him you felt the same way he did on the night we left for the UC op since we've been back? How many times did you dress up super sexy after work just to go to The Penny? He didn't want you back when he had the chance. Now that he sees you and I together and sees that you're actually happy without him, he can't handle it. If he felt the need to get away from your happiness so badly, so be it, but it is by no way possible your fault the man got shot. He is the fucking idiot who took his vest off then willingly walked back into the station knowing full well there was an armed gunman in there wanting to kill him. Did he stop to throw on a vest? No! This isn't your fault! You don't owe him anything! You should have just let him walk out of the station."

"I never said I owed _him _anything. These feelings I have for him aren't going to go away Nick. Like you said, it's been a year and here I am, breaking up with someone so perfectly amazing, someone who treats me like a queen, and someone who openly cares for me for someone who may or may not have been completely high on morphine today."

Frustrated and slightly drunk, Nick had had enough. "Why, Andy? Please just tell me why?"

"Why what? I'm in love with him. I can't stop being in love with him. I have tried and failed."

"Why can't you love me the way you love him? Andy I have been in love with you since we were undercover. I love everything about you; your giant heart, how you always try to help people, even if they don't deserve it, the way you think, the way you smell. Andy, I love every single thing about you and I am not afraid to tell you. You can have me, all of me. I won't walk away from you."

Openly crying, Andy's heart was breaking. She hadn't wanted to hurt Nick like this. "Nick, believe me, I love you. I do. I love the way your eyes light up during an interesting conversation, I love the way your left arm rests on the window as you drive, I love being with you all the time. But it's not enough, no matter what I do. I want to love you more than this, I do, but I can't and that isn't fair to you. You deserve better than what I can give. You deserve someone who will give their all to you and that person isn't me."

Without a reply, Andy quickly found Nick's lips to be on hers. The kiss was soft and sad but at the same time it felt nice, right. Andy did not have the mental capacity to rationalize her decisions and in that one particular moment didn't care to. She leaned closer into Nick, deepening their kisses for some time. Gently pushing him down onto the couch, Andy crawled to where she was straddling him, half laying on him, trailing kisses from his lips to his collar bone. She could feel his arousal beneath her, causing her to add extra friction when she slid up his pelvis to run her fingers through his hair.

Not knowing what exactly had happened to get them to their current situation, Nick figured he wasn't going to waste his last night with Andy. When she slid up to run her fingers through his hair, he sat up a bit, his hands gripping the hem of her shirt. Lifting it over her head and tossing it to the side, he became enamoured with her perfectly pert breasts, tucked away in a black cotton bra; her cleavage was rising and falling to the rhythm of her quickening breaths as she became more aroused. Pulling her right breast from its confining hold beneath the material, he grazed her nipple with his thumb until it was hard. Once she had let out a soft moan, he brought his mouth to her nipple; the hotness of which caused her to moan in sensation. Flicking her nipple with his tongue, he freed the other breast and massaged it before turning his oral attention to it.

Sitting up to lean over Andy as her back was to the couch, he reached behind her to unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the floor. He straddled her now, and paused to take her in. Her ponytail had become loose and her bangs were in her face. Her cheeks and lips were flushed, and she had a shine to her eyes that told him she wanted this; needed this.

Keeping eye contact with her, he silently ran his fingers under the waistband of her jeans before sitting up on her to undo them. Standing momentarily, he pulled her jeans off and scooped her up so they were both standing.

Andy ran her fingers over his clothed chest, slipping her hands under his t-shirt to feel his abs. He really did have a perfect body. She found the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, stopping only for a quick kiss before making her way to his belt. She unbuckled his belt and slid his pants and boxer briefs to the floor so he was standing there in all his naked glory, very aroused. Gently grasping his manhood in her palm, she began to stroke him from head to shaft.

Nick nuzzled her neck, trailing to suck on that special spot that drove her wild. She moaned and lowered herself to the floor, taking him in her wet, hot mouth. He hissed then let out a sensual moan; he hadn't been expecting her to do this. He pulled out her hair elastic and his fingers were soon entwined in her free flowing locks. She kept a steady rhythm of encompassing his entire length in her mouth then slowly releasing him, only to engulf him again, all the while her gentle fingers massaged his balls. When she returned to stroking his shaft with her hand and slid her hot mouth over his balls, he knew it was time to move on. After taking a few moments to enjoy the pleasure she was giving him, he pulled her up and lead her to the bedroom.

Laying her on the bed, he pulled off her panties and began licking her clit. He knew how much she liked this; oral sex drove her wild. Flicking his tongue against her clit then sucking, he gently inserted one finger into her scalding cavern and pumped in and out a few times before adding a second finger. She was wet, really wet. Her breathing was short and shallow and her whimpers let him know she was close.

Pulling his lips away from her caused her to whine.

"Tell me what you want Andy" he spoke in a husky voice while his fingers still worked their magic.

"You to not stop" she panted.

"Do you want to cum?"

"Yes"

"Are you close?"

"Niiiiiick!"

"Tell me you like it." With that, he went back down on her, flicking her clit with his tongue and taking the occasional gentle nip.

"Yes, yes, just like that. Don't stop. I'm going to cum" She let out as she grabbed his hair. "Fuck yes! That's it!" Moaning, Andy felt the waves wash over her as her body shook from her orgasm. All thoughts aside from how good she felt in this moment had left her mind.

While she was coming down from her euphoric high, Nick reached into the bedside table and grabbed a condom. Slipping it on, he flipped them over so that she was straddling him. He pulled her so that she was just over his cock.

She grasped him in her hands and guided him into her warmth and began to slowly move her hips. She loved slow sex. She loved taking the time to feel her partner inside of her and this time was no different. She also loved being on top; being in control. Quickening her pace, she pulled Nick's hands so that they cupped her breasts. She knew that he wasn't going to last very long tonight. As his breathing became quickened, Andy brought him to the point of near-orgasm before slowing the pace again. This time, she took her time. She slid up and down his cock tantalizingly slowly. She took her right hand and put her index and middle finger in her mouth while Nick stared. Sucking on them for a moment, she reached down and began to play with her clit. Moaning at the pleasure she was giving herself caused Nick to grab her hips and thrust into her harder.

"More baby, more" she moaned. "Harder, yeah; oh yeah, that's it. Make me cum."

Suddenly Nick felt her tighten around him; her walls clenched his cock. He had to get release. The feeling of her orgasm on his cock made him lose control and come with her.

After she had come down from her orgasm, Andy slid Nick out of her and rolled to his side. Curling up to him, she kissed him. It was time to say goodbye. If he stayed until morning, it would just be that much harder. Their alcohol buzzes had worn off and a somber mood had overtaken her bedroom. He must have sensed the same thing as her and he leaned over to her and kissed her lips and then her forehead. He got up and followed his trail of clothing into the living room.

Wrapping herself in a robe, Andy followed him and walked him to the door. Standing in front of it, they turned to each other and stood. It took a moment for her to realize that she was crying again. Not wanting to say goodbye yet, she wrapped her arms around him for one last hug.

"Goodnight Andy." He forced out, his voice with a slight quiver.

"Goodnight Nick. See you around the station."

"Yeah, see you around the station." He spoke quietly before turning the knob and walking out her door, closing it behind him.

Andy locked the door and turned out the lights. She grabbed her phone to charge it and looked at the clock. It was nearly 5am. How long had she been awake for? She couldn't even remember when she had slept last and was incapable of counting any hours. She dialed the station and spoke to an officer at working the desk telling them she would not be in to work for her next shift. She debated on turning off her phone, but in case of news of Sam she left it on and prayed no one woke her up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Holy geez to those who sent messages about the last chapter. Let me remind you that if you do not like a story, don't read it. Don't send nasty pm's, they are really uncalled for and I feel sorry for you if you feel the need to pm a stranger on the internet and bitch them out over a chapter. It's friggin fan FICTION. **

**That being said, I do appreciate your reviews quite a bit and I do take the time to read them and I try to find the time to answer your questions. This story will end up being McSwarek, but it's not going to be an easy road for them and there are most likely going to be chapters readers won't be a fan of, so either hang in there with me or stop reading, but please keep your rude comments to yourself. There is a very large difference between constructive criticism and being downright rude. **

**As there was only ONE chapter with Nick and Andy, I did not feel the need to tag it as so because if I had, I'd end up with tons of nasty messages from Nick and Andy fans, so I suppose that's a lose/lose for me, but it's my story. **

**Anyways, thank you to those who did not send me nasty messages. This chapter is a short filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyways, and if you didn't, move on to the next story and don't let it upset you.**

It was after noon when Andy finally woke up. The sun was streaming through her curtains and she could hear the steady hum of traffic outside her building. After opening her eyes, she wished she hadn't. She left the space of time when you just wake and the world is right; before everything becomes clear and reality hits. The events of last night came back to her. She had break up sex with Nick, hot, steamy, orgasmic break up sex. As she was trying to sort her feelings about it out, a line from the past popped into her head, _it was what it _was. The infamous line Sam had used on her after her little blackout visit to his house. It kind of summed up last night with Nick, it was what it was. She had no real regrets about it, at least not right now, and it wasn't going to ever happen again so there was no point in dwelling on it. Would she do it again, maybe not, but it was what it was.

She thought back to their conversation last night and how he was when he left. She broke his heart. She broke everyone's heart…except Luke, he did that to himself…and well Sam did too, partially… but Nick, he didn't deserve his heart broken, especially after Gail just cheated him on. She realized that her and Nick wouldn't be able to be friends, not for a very long time anyway, if ever. Nick would be pleasant to her at work but avoid her every possible chance. Then he would become indifferent. Hopefully they could avoid being partnered up together for a few months, until things calmed down.

Getting out of bed, she surveyed her room and decided that the sheets and blankets needed to go in the washing machine before anything else, even before a trip to the bathroom. She didn't regret last night with Nick, but it was over now and she didn't need the reminder. Today was a new day and she was going to get ready for it.

After a long shower, she went to make herself breakfast. She measured out her Holy Crap cereal, mixed it with some vanilla Greek yogurt and added some fresh raspberries. Both Sam and Nick had made fun of her for her breakfast choice, saying that the $10 pouch of cereal was actually bird seed. They could call it whatever they wanted, but it was still delicious.

After brushing her teeth, she dressed in yoga pants and a loose long sleeve t-shirt and got ready to go to the hospital. Thinking that now would be a good time for future Andy to have a car, she called a cab and waited.

Once she got to the hospital, she popped in on Oliver to see how he was doing. He was awake in his room, pushing his fork around a meal tray.

"They say the food is why people come here, you know" she said, forgoing the traditional hello.

A smile took over his face as he looked up, "McNally! It's good to see you" he said as she gave him a gentle hug and pulled up a chair.

"Where's Celery?" Andy asked.

"She went to get me some real food. Did you know that they put pickles on top of my food? Pickles, McNally, pickles. We all know how I feel about pickles. You know, normally I'd just pull them off but these were juicy, juicy pickles. You know what happens when you put juicy pickles on food that doesn't require pickles, hmm do you? Everything tastes like pickles! So Celery, being a dear, went to find me something pickle free. How are you?"

"I'm great. You seem like you're doing better?"

"Great, McNally? Really? That's what you're going with?"

"I guess you don't want to talk about yourself anymore."

"Nope. How's my boy, Sammy?"

"I stopped in to see you first today. He asked about you last night. He's doing alright, everything considered."

"He's a tough one. When I can walk five feet without being dizzy, I'll go and see him."

"He'd like that."

"Yeah. McNally, do you know how much it costs to hook up a TV here?"

"Umm, no sorry. I can go ask at the nurses' station for you."

"No, no. I'll tell you. It costs $25.00 a day. Twenty five buckaroos, Andy. So you know what? I don't have TV."

Confused as to where this was going, Andy was unsure if she should even inquire anymore or just say her goodbyes.

"Entertain me, McNally."

"Excuse me" she asked, completely lost as to where Oliver was going with this.

"Tell me what happened yesterday."

"I think you know the gist of it Oliver."

"That's not what I mean McNally. Why are you here and Marlo, from what I hear, hasn't been seen nor heard from?"

Sighing, Andy thought to herself how she did not want to get into this right now. Maybe with Traci, but not with Oliver. _Remember to call Traci when I leave here_, she thought.

"I don't know where Marlo is" she replied. "She could be downstairs now for all I know."

"I have a feeling she isn't."

"A lot of shit happened yesterday, Oliver. A lot and Marlo was the one who caused it. She had been stalking Kevin Ford for weeks! You should have seen the board she had in her basement. It was more detailed than most of our case boards at the station. She also suffered a severe manic episode. She probably needs some time to herself, not to mention who knows what's going to happen to her at the station."

This made Andy think. She and Sam were involved in Marlo's disaster. She had known for months about her being bipolar and never said anything. She had altered her notebook to make it appear that Marlo attended the search at Ford's house as opposed to the truth; she broke in. Andy was very likely in some serious hot water herself. She also had no idea what Marlo had told Frank or anyone for that matter. She remembered how pissed Luke had been at Marlo's house. She also began feeling terrible for Marlo. All of this just because she wanted to feel the love she felt for Sam; Sam, who kissed her goodnight last night; Sam who couldn't watch Andy and Nick together. Marlo was not a bad person, and if it weren't for the Sam Swarek love triangle, they probably could have been real friends. Now, a bomb had metaphorically gone off and who knew where the dust would settle.

"McNally, what happened with you and Swarek?"

"What are you talking about? Nothing happened."

"Yet you're supposed to be at work, but you're here visiting him."

"Oliver, I am visiting you. I am also going to check in on Chloe, and yes, I will stop and see Sam, but he isn't the only reason I am here. I had a really long day yesterday and didn't sleep last night. I would have been useless at work today."

"Uh huh. You're hiding many things Andy McNally, but I'll figure them out; mark my words I'll be the best detective on this case. Stop by on your way out and let me know how everyone is, will you?"

"Will do. Enjoy your pickle-free lunch" she said, as she gathered her coat and purse and headed out, wondering what type of medication the nurse had given him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue**

Andy decided that she needed a coffee before going in to see Sam so she found her way to a coffee cart on the floor above, where she happened to run into Dov.

Hugging him, she inquired about Chloe and how she was doing, finding out that her mysterious husband was still not letting anyone else but her family in the room. Dov had been getting his updates from Frank and was at the hospital hoping he could find a time when Price's husband left. He informed her that since Chloe's husband opted to wait on the clot, her condition worsened overnight. She was scheduled for surgery within the hour to remove the clot like Dov had urged all along. This time, the risks were much higher as there was an increased risk of swelling in her brain. Andy offered to stay with him, but he refused, stating that he needed some time to be alone. Hugging goodbye, and with an offer to return if he needed her, she headed down the hall to see Sam.

Just as the night before, Andy's feet did not want to walk into the room. _What if he changed his mind? What if Marlo is here? What if Marlo shows up while I'm here? What is going to happen now?_ Deciding that she'd already thrown caution to the wind on the situation, she walked into the room, prepared for whatever awaited her.

Sam was asleep with an untouched lunch tray on the table. There was a nurse in the room who informed Andy that he had just been given another dose of pain medication about 15 minutes before, so he may be a bit out of it.

Thanking her for the update, Andy sat down and watched the slow rise and fall of Sam's chest. If she didn't let her thoughts run away with themselves, this could actually be considered to be a peaceful moment. She decided to wake him up by swiping his hair off his forehead, causing him to stir.

"Mmm. Hey beautiful girl," Sam whispered to her with his eyes still closed.

_Does he even know who I am?_ Andy wondered as she replied back with a "Hey you, how are you doing today?"

"Better now that you're here. I missed you."

"Me too. Your lunch is here, did you want any of it? It might be cold."

"No, I'm not hungry."

Andy updated him on how Chloe and Oliver were doing, leaving out Oliver's inquiry about the two of them. Andy wasn't ready to bring that up yet. She wanted to just enjoy being with Sam without all the complications of the outside world, which were sure to hit full force sooner rather than later.

Sam laid there with his eyes closed most of the time and listened to her talk about their friends. He knew he'd have to start giving some answers soon and he wanted to enjoy just being with her. She deserved answers and he knew she was holding back on asking questions. He wasn't sure what to do himself. He couldn't just end things with Marlo over the phone; he owed her more than that, and he wanted his stuff back. He also knew he was in some trouble at work after Callaghan discovered the Kevin Ford board.

"Have you talked to Frank or Callaghan yet?" he cautiously asked her.

"No. I called in sick today. I just needed a day to let things settle, you know?"

"Yeah, I understand. Do you know what you're going to say?"

"I don't know. The truth? I really felt like it wasn't my place to say anything about her medical condition. How was I supposed to know she was stalking an innocent man?" She sighed. "I should have reported her when I found out about her bipolar condition. I had the chance then. I also had the chance when I found out that she had been at his house. Oh god, Sam. I could have prevented this, all of it; Price, Oliver, You… everyone would have been fine but I let it happen."

"Andy you had no idea it was going to play out like this" Sam said, pulling himself up into a sitting position. "No one could have predicted this. I was in a relationship with her and I had no idea that any of this was going on!"

"Are."

"What?"

"Unless something has changed since last night, you are still currently in a relationship with Marlo."

Sam sighed. He would have to deal with his relationship status soon, but not now. "Andy, I'm not getting into that now. We are talking about work and what is possibly going to happen. Now I'm pretty sure they're going to go after Marlo's badge; two police officers shot and one kidnapped is hard to come back from. As for you and I, we need to get our stories straight."

"Sam, there is no _we_ in this. I knew for months. I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it, but instead, I threw the rulebook out the window and took her to her doctor and never told Frank."

"I never told him either Andy. I had no idea how serious her manic episode was until I saw the board, and by then it was already too late. I honestly thought she was just a bit worked up and needed some space."

"I don't know what I'm going to say tomorrow. I'm surprised that Frank hasn't called me already today. I could lose my badge Sam."

"We both could."

"They won't take yours. You didn't know until just recently."

Knowing she was right, he stayed silent.

"Besides," she continued, "who knows what Marlo's told them already."

As if her ears had been ringing, Marlo Cruz walked into the room. She took a quick survey of the room before they noticed her there. Sam was sitting up in bed; he looked much paler than usual but seemed to be alright. McNally was in the chair beside him in casual clothes; she must not have gone to work today. She had the chair pulled close to the bed but they weren't touching in any way. She had heard them talking about work as she approached, so she couldn't be sure on the entire nature of her visit.

Dating Sam Swarek had been a challenge from day one. They had met at the station and been on patrol together a few times before Sam made detective. The day he made detective, most of the division had gone out to The Penny for drinks. At one point in the night, she saw Sam sitting at the bar alone, finishing off a beer. Not knowing what came over her; she walked up to him and bought him another congratulatory drink. They sat at the bar and chatted for a while then played a game of pool against Diaz and Epstein, winning $20.00 in the process. Sam walked her out to get a cab but offered her a ride instead. They ended up back at her place and he spent the night.

After a few weeks, word got out at work that they were seeing one another. Sam's inner circle was pleasant to her, but she could tell they weren't a fan of her dating him, Oliver especially. He always looked at her in a sad way, as if he knew things between her and Sam were doomed. It didn't help that since the day she started, all she heard about was this mysterious Officer Andy McNally who was off undercover with the former military man Officer Nick Collins. She heard Peck whine about it on a daily basis;

_"Chris, I just can't stop thinking about it. I mean Nick's been undercover with her for four months now! How can he resist her giant Bambi eyes and helpless persona? How did she even get picked to go on a task force? She couldn't even be a free hooker."_

_"I'm sure Collins and Andy are just fine. Besides, Andy is probably still pining away over Swarek. Traci told me something had happened between them the night she left. As for how she got picked for a task force, Gail you know she is a great cop. There was that drug bust with Swarek where she saved not only him, but us as well, you know when I got stabbed and we were locked in the factory? Not to mention the day she left, she re-caught a child abductor, saved the life of a little girl, and was left holding a grenade with no pin. She's not helpless. She's amazing" Chris replied. _

_"Ugh." Gail muttered in disgust. "Is there a penis at this station that isn't in love with her? I mean first Callaghan and then that mounted unit trainer, and she has had Swarek's heart since our first week, and now she's probably got Nick obsessed with her. You're in love with her too, aren't you?"_

_"What? No, I'm not in love with her! Gail, Andy and Swarek didn't get together until well after Callaghan cheated on her. They weren't together before that, were they? You'd tell me right?"_

_"Swarek is obsessed with her. He has this macho man/prince charming complex where he always has to protect her and save her from everything. I bet he's been in love with her since day one. After she caught him undercover the first day, there was something between them. He became her T.O. like the next day. What was wrong with Shaw? They also had a moment outside The Penny where they almost went home together."_

_"Yeah, but they didn't. Anyways, who knows what will happen with Andy and Swarek when he comes back. I heard he's dating Cruz now. Maybe Andy's over him."_

_"Yeah over him and onto my boyfriend."_

_"She wouldn't do that. You know that."_

Marlo figured out early on that most of 15 Division was rooting for Sam and Andy to get back together. She had brought it up one night as they were lying in bed. Sam had promised her that things with him and Andy were definitely over and that she had nothing to worry about. He hadn't spoken to Andy in months and she had probably moved on as well. Hind sight is 20/20, but at the time, she had stupidly believed Sam. Hell, he probably believed himself.

The day 15 found out that Collins and McNally were missing, she saw a different side of Sam. It started out as Sam and Traci gathering people to secretly investigate Blackwell's drug smuggling case on the basis that Collins and McNally may be in the middle of a drug turf war. That seemed normal enough, since Nash was really pushing it as well. She didn't think too much of it at the time, but when Swarek freaked out that McNally missed her call-in, the emotions across his face and in his voice should have been obvious.

She had asked him in the kitchen of the station the day McNally came back what it meant for her and Sam, and he said it meant nothing and kissed her. She had believed him too. The longer McNally was back though, the more she noticed Sam's longing looks and his occasional distance. The day they both showed up with smoothies, she didn't know what to think. Sam Swarek was not a smoothie guy yet there he came, strolling into the precinct with the exact same smoothie cup that McNally had.

Then there was the day where the girl, Grace, had went missing in Ross Perek's cab. Sam ignored her completely and chose to ride with McNally that day. Granted, she heard he basically used her as his personal punching bag, but still; he picked McNally over her. Sure, he had explained to her later that he just needed her there so he didn't have to explain anything, but she could have sat quietly with him, he never gave her the chance.

The worst part was, the more she got to know Andy the more she actually liked her. It was impossible to hate this girl, and believe it, Marlo had tried. They had fought a lot in the beginning, Marlo not trusting her as a person or as an officer, but it didn't take long for her to realize why McNally was such an integral part of 15 Division.

Now here she was, sitting in _her_ boyfriend's hospital room. Not only that, Andy had been running around the station with Sam before he was shot, she had insisted on going in the ambulance with him, she was sure she had waited around at the hospital last night, and here she was again. This girl was the bane of her existence at the moment and Marlo knew that even though she may have won a few battles for Sam's heart recently, Andy would win the war…unless she could stop her. She needed Sam right now. She loved him, but she also needed his support. McNally would be okay without him, but Marlo wasn't sure she could say the same thing about herself. This morning, her sister had told her that she "needed a break from the crazy." Normally Marlo would turn to her sister for help and support when things got rough, but now she was alone when she needed someone the most. She couldn't lose Sam, not now.

Walking into the room, she approached the bed.

"Hey baby," she said to Sam just before planting a long, slow kiss on his lips. "How are you doing? I'm so sorry I wasn't here last night, I was caught up at the station with Callaghan." She turned and looked in Andy's direction. "McNally," she said as a curt hello.

"McNally and I were just talking about what's going to happen at the station. You've got perfect timing." Sam informed her while Andy remained quiet in her chair. "How did things go with Callaghan last night?"

Sighing, she told them "Well, I've been suspended without pay while Internal Affairs investigates. I also have a series of psych evaluations I have to complete with the department doctors. My psychiatrist is also meeting with I.A., Luke and Frank today to basically completely divulge my life and my history of being bipolar. They've torn my house apart, and they are working their way through my life."

Not knowing what to say, Sam remained quiet while Andy awkwardly thought of a way to get out of the room.

"Is there anything you told them that we should know of so that our stories are the same?" Sam asked?

"There isn't much to tell Sam. I started dating you, I stopped taking my medication. I knew there was more to Kevin Ford than there appeared. I just had the wrong brother. I told them the truth about that. I also told them that you didn't know about it until the day in the evidence room, which is true. I tried to take some time off, but by that point, things were already in motion."

"Did you tell them how you went into his house?"

"No. I just left it at the confrontation in the driveway. I'm going to lose by badge, Sam. There's no reason for anyone else to" she replied, looking between Sam and Andy.

"Did you tell them that I knew?" Andy asked.

"I told them you found out the same day as Sam, in the evidence room. Luke knew that you knew about it, I couldn't deny that."

"Is there anything else we need to know?" Andy cautiously inquired.

"Well, I told them that you both had no idea that I hadn't disclosed my condition. Like I said, there's no reason for anyone else to lose their badge over my mistakes."

"Okay, so we have everything straight for the time being. Thank you for telling them what you did. I think I'm going to go up and check on Dov. Chloe's probably in surgery now. I'll see you both later." Andy said, gathering her stuff and leaving the couple alone, not knowing what was going to happen next. She could hear Marlo fussing over Sam as she walked out the door.


End file.
